Going on a date is a lot like going to a job interview – you wear your nicest clothes, you try to present yourself in the best light, and you worry about saying something stupid. And in both situations you’re trying to sell yourself to someone else. So what are the best things to do to show a woman that you’re a great catch?
1. Take extra care in your grooming. This is the first item on the list because it’s the most important. Good grooming shows other people that you care enough about yourself to do basic physical maintenance. That means your hair isn’t shaggy and unkempt (unless that’s a deliberate style choice), your clothes aren’t wrinkled or dirty, and your nails are clipped and clean. That doesn’t mean you have to go overboard and be something you’re not – your clothes should be clean, but they should also be items that you feel comfortable wearing. If you’re clean-shaven, then you shouldn’t be stubbly on a date, and if you have a beard or mustache then they should be neatly trimmed. And above all, make sure you smell good – shower and use deodorant. Remember that splashing on cologne is no substitute for a hot shower.
2. Make her laugh. That doesn’t mean that you should turn into a Catskills comedian on your date. But if you have a good sense of humor, use it! Polls consistently show that women find humor the most attractive thing about a man, above looks, money or an impressive career. Laughing together is an intimate act, and boosts endorphin levels. So if you can get her laughing, she’ll see you as a potential mate all the quicker.
3. Don’t give her a list of your faults. It’s become a common thing for people to ‘fess up to all of their flaws and bad behavior, thinking that it makes them look charmingly honest for admitting to their flaws. But look at it this way – if you were trying to sell a car, would you lead off by talking about the lousy gas mileage, the uncomfortable seats and the leaky sunroof? She’ll see your bad side soon enough. In the beginning, avoid talking too much about why you’re not a great catch – because she might believe you.
4. Care about what she has to say. Far too many men think that making a good impression means talking about themselves all night. And yes, you should tell her about your job and talk about the things that interest you. But ask her about her job, too, and her interests and her family and anything else that you can think of. Then remember what she tells you. If you’re on your third or fourth date and you remember that she loves a certain band or that her father recently had an operation, she’ll be impressed that you cared enough to pay attention to what she had to say – you might be shocked at how few men understand how important that is.
5. Pick up the check. It doesn’t really matter what you, your friends or your date feel about women’s issues – most women are old-fashioned when it comes to who pays on a date. Once you’ve won her heart, the two of you can split all the checks you like. In the beginning, though, you should absolutely, positively pay for dinner. If she’s really insistent about paying her share, tell her she can get the check next time or tell her she can pay for the movie and you’ll take car of dinner. But whatever you do, don’t split a check, especially on the very first date – it makes you look cheap, and you’ll lose points.
6. Don’t talk about old girlfriends or ex-wives. This ties into #3 above. You shouldn’t hide the fact that you’ve had other relationships, but you shouldn’t talk about them much, either, especially if you don’t have anything nice to say. If you’re harboring anger towards the women in your past, that can make you look bitter and petty in the eyes of your new flame. If you say too many good things about an ex, on the other hand, she may wonder if you have unresolved feelings for your ex. Discretion, as they say, is the better part of valor – there’s a reason why etiquette experts have always said that a gentleman doesn’t discuss his past conquests!
7. Be true to your word. Women value honesty, and many become a bit gun-shy about dating after having had their trust betrayed by men they care about. So do what you say you will – like, say, call her the next day – and follow through on your commitments. That means that you should be on time for dates and do everything you promise you’ll do, whether it’s pick up Chinese food for dinner or come over to meet her parents. If you don’t show her that you can be trusted, at best she’ll think you’re a flake – at worst she’ll assume that you’re a liar who could be cheating on her or worse. A trustworthy man is a catch, and worth his weight in gold – so be that guy and win her heart!
Cucan Pemo is the author and publisher of Bring Back the Love of Your Life!, Attract A True Love Secrets, 500 Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know!, 500 Secrets About Girls Every Guy Should Know! and \”You can Save your Relationship & Marriage\” (ebooks). For 8 months, she went through a painful experience of a failing relationship, and along the way discovered the secrets of creating that magical relationship which everyone desires. The secrets she learnt enabled her to bring back the love of her life, and she even continued using the same \”formula\” to create a fulfilling and harmonious relationship with her loved one. No one believes it is possible until she makes the impossible possible. On this journey, she learnt a lot about life, human nature, and relationships, and proceeded to teach and share the insights she had gained to those who come to her. She now writes regularly on relationship, marriage and family issues, sharing the tips and strategies on how to find true love, draw true love, keeping a true love, and even bringing back a lost love, no matter what type of relationship one is involved in. She is also a freelance writer on parenting, family and working tips and strategies at http://www.FamilyAndRelationships.com